Why understand a lot of truth, but still can’t live this life-tataufo

Why understand a lot of truth, but still can’t live this life? Public concern number Sina micro plastic, see more exciting original content! The article from the WeChat public number: very psychological pain | author Wang Wang Xueyan snow rock Shijiazhuang Dezheng social psychological service center chief consultant and supervisor. Know the psychology of V, the author of the column "psychology and life". Buddha said, life is suffering, in order to reduce suffering, life is a process of continuous practice. Klein’s view of object relation has something in common with it. According to Klein’s view, life is a process of constantly repairing the trauma of the early years, the so-called growth, is to constantly repair the suffering experience, the ability to develop love. From this point of view, life is really a process of constant practice. Some people often leave a message to me: you say these truths I understand, but I still can’t change my life, can you tell me a change? I am sure to tell him: I can not give. Why? Because, a person’s inner change does not come from understanding how much truth, and from his understanding of life has changed, the attitude of their own people have changed. This change is often seen from the past to see what has happened in the past, to understand the impact of all this on their own start. If only in accordance with the principles and methods to change, can not say a bit useful, but does not do well, it will become a powerful ruler of the superego, but will increase conflict and pain. Some people say: I have seen it, it is my early experience. Yes, we can often start from a certain angle, see and feel a lot, but the world is so complex, the same thing, the common experience to everyone, everyone’s feelings and understanding are very different. Human beings tend to take their own experience as a standard to consider things, it is inevitable to let their feelings biased. Or, for themselves, in their own world, understanding and feeling is very real, once placed in a wider environment, adding other elements, and may be very divorced from reality. So many times, it is difficult for us to really "see", and it is precisely because of this, the communication between people, so that the two sides can see each other becomes very important. In the course of counseling, I often give visitors an example: if I have an apple in my hand, you look at it from the other side, it is red. If we get into a fight, you say that the apple is red, I said that the apple is green, in fact, may be right. But the pain of life, often because we believe that they see the truth, and others, but it makes us feel not understood and recognized. It is a very intense pain in our lives that we regard as important, and those who make us miserable may not want to hurt us, maybe they think they just want us to know the truth. But the truth they see, in fact, makes us feel hurt. Have witnessed the conflict between the two generations of a family: her daughter talked to her mother when she was a child because of her mother’s negligence相关的主题文章:

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